Vile Darkness

The Beginning: Outside Phandalin

It started with a cart. Four ragtag adventurers drove a supply-filled cart outside Phandalin, seeking the riches that would come with rescuing captured dwarf, Gundren Rockseeker.

These four adventurers were gnomish rogue Shekle Guildencratz; insane tiefling sorcerer, Mordai; Dragonkind prophet Smaldo; and an Aarakocra affectionately called “Birdman.”

After hemming and hawing, after bickering and procrastinating, after a stint of slackjawed meandering, the adventures were beset by a would-be goblin ambush. After easily dispatching the enemies, the group chose to let one, Griswell, live to snitch on his boss. Amidst a lively discussion with Shekle about personal finance and entrepreneurship, Griswell revealed that his boss to be a bugbear named Klarg. Griswell revealed the location of Klarg’s hideout, and mentioned the possibility of finding clues as to Gundren’s whereabouts there. Begrudgingly, the group spared Griswell’s life and proceeded to Klarg’s lair.

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A Vague Summary of Aids Monkey Island

Well, I’m going to start helping out on the wiki very soon, but for now I want to jot down some basic points of what has happened since we arrived on the volcanic island before I forget any details.

This island used to be an archipelago. The other islands have sunk into the water due to volcanic activity on Aids Monkey Island. There used to be a temple to the Fire Aspect of ‘The Great Mother’ on this island, but volcanic activity seems to have sunken or destroyed that as well. The priests or devotees of the temple were known in their time to perform acts of fire breathing and rituals of self-immolation to please their god.
The paladin Faerilon was put in charge of an expedition to try to find this temple. The party was sent to the island on a lead that there may be a planar key that we are searching for, and Faerilon was to be our contact if he still lived. Well, it turns out Faerilon’s expedition was a glorious failure, as the whole group started contracting AIDS, which they blamed on a giant who was assisting them in their quest, who they then proceeded to kill in a misguided desperate effort to cure themselves.
Upon our arrival on the Stinkfinger we found most of the pilgrimage dying on the beach. Smaldo attempted to heal some of the wounded, and we managed to find Faerilon, still alive and coherent enough to relay their misfortunes to us. We set out on our journey to the center of the island, searching for the temple and a way to rid this island of its AIDS pandemic. On the first leg of our trek into the jungle we were beset by primates that this author thinks were once human, now consumed by AIDS. Some wielded bows and some used clawed hands to strike at us, infecting us with minor cases of AIDS. Not long after, we stumbled into a large, charred earth clearing centered around a statue of what looked like a melted clay figure of a man. I fearlessly approached the sculpture and was caught off guard when it sprung to life as a giant stone dog with tentacles for tongues spewing magma. We dispatched of this dog handily and no one almost died and it was fine. I stole one of its’ teeth to use as a ring.
Further north along the path we ran into what I can only describe as a horse deterrent; multiple pony skulls mounted on pikes along the side of the path. We found the bodies of these ponies with their skulls replaced by the skull of a crow, a fish, and a cow – respectively. Each pony skull had affixed to it a piece of a helmet with a horsehair crest. Playing with the last pony skull using levitation eventually lead to the summoning of a pit fiend or some other denomination of demon who stole Smaldo’s sword and defiled it (lol) before we killed him outright. We searched the demon’s nearby hidey hole to find some pretty cool loot (Shekle’s spiderman cloak and my self-tying belt) and carried on towards our goal.
Emerging from the forest, we made our way through the bog of eternal steam, noticing the volcano is currently active, to a slight trench where we were ambushed by some slicer beetles that didn’t stand a chance against our great might. at the north end of this trench we met the leprosy giant Grum’lak – a comedian in his own rite – mounted on a giant scorpion and asking us for ‘big trouble’. After a bolt was accidentally loosed past Grum’lak’s head, Smaldo and Wolfsbane managed to talk the giant into not only letting us pass, but also giving us directions for safe passage to the volcano. Once out of the trench, we decided to camp until dawn.

I am very tired, so I will leave off here, but if someone else wants to recount us killing the two smoke imps and the epic battle with that Behir before I get to it, feel free!

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Welcome to your campaign!
A blog for your campaign

Wondering how to get started? Here are a few tips:

1. Invite your players

Invite them with either their email address or their Obsidian Portal username.

2. Edit your home page

Make a few changes to the home page and give people an idea of what your campaign is about. That will let people know you’re serious and not just playing with the system.

3. Choose a theme

If you want to set a specific mood for your campaign, we have several backgrounds to choose from. Accentuate it by creating a top banner image.

4. Create some NPCs

Characters form the core of every campaign, so take a few minutes to list out the major NPCs in your campaign.

A quick tip: The “+” icon in the top right of every section is how to add a new item, whether it’s a new character or adventure log post, or anything else.

5. Write your first Adventure Log post

The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

One final tip: Don’t stress about making your Obsidian Portal campaign look perfect. Instead, just make it work for you and your group. If everyone is having fun, then you’re using Obsidian Portal exactly as it was designed, even if your adventure log isn’t always up to date or your characters don’t all have portrait pictures.

That’s it! The rest is up to your and your players.

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